Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Light Gazer

She loves the windows. It's hard to keep her attention if a light-filled window is close by. She may take time to smile and laugh with me but eventually her gaze finds its way back to the light. It's not a "good" thing in the land of vision therapy. When rating Reese's vision, her lowest scores come when they see her "light gazing." I guess it is a very primitive response and is a sign of her cortical visual impairment.
The other day as we cuddled, her eyes wandered up to her favorite two windows and she peacefully enjoyed the light. Her face was pure peace. I couldn't help but think of God's desire for me. Doesn't he also want me to be a Light Gazer? Hasn't He created me to remain focused upon Him? It is when I am not focusing on His Light and walking in the Light of His Presence that I find myself struggling.
Life has really beaten up on us lately. Illness, people, scoliosis diagnosis, new wheelchair, seizures...I have felt worn. I told my sweet friend that I have been struggling with sadness. Even Mario has noticed it and tried to pull me out, as only Mario can. My friend raced over with a book called "Be Joyful" and encouraged me with Truth from Philippians. Paul, who was imprisoned for telling people about Jesus, found joy even in chains. How? Because He was a light gazer too. He was single-minded. He was focused on Christ and not the circumstances. "He did not look at Christ through his circumstances; rather, he looked at his circumstances through Christ--and this changed everything...Paul rejoiced in his difficult circumstances because they helped to strengthen his fellowship with other Christians, gave him an opportunity to lead others to Christ, and enabled him to defend the gospel before the courts of Rome."
THAT pulled me out. THAT reminded me to gaze at Christ and not the circumstances.
I want to be single-minded, gazing at circumstances through the Light of Christ.

John 9
1 As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. 2 His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”
3 “Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him. 4 As long as it is day, we must do the works of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work. 5 While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.”

6 After saying this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man’s eyes. 7 “Go,” he told him, “wash in the Pool of Siloam” (this word means “Sent”). So the man went and washed, and came home seeing.

1 comment:

  1. Love your blog on walking in the light. My verse for the year is I have come that you may have life and have it to the full. Although we are on a different journey in life, our quest is the same, rising above our circumstances and finding joy. May God speak to you in the dark times and find you trusting Him even when you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am learning that joy and happy are two different things. It is only IN HIM that we find peace and joy in ALL things! You are truly loved!


Thanks for taking the time!