I remember

My friend Rudri suggested I try this exercise of "I remembers" in 10 min. Here goes...

I remember the cold, dark ultrasound room
I remember the silence as the tech examined the screen
I remember the phone call from the tech to the radiologist
I remember the knot in my stomach, knowing this was not normal procedure
I remember the ultrasound tech telling me there were two cysts on my 14 week old fetus' brain
I remember biting my lip, begging the tears to stay in my eyes until I reached the car
I remember letting it all out in the privacy of my front seat
I remember calling Mario to tell him something was wrong
I remember the smell of my leather seats, looking in my rear view mirror through tears, backing out, and knowing this day was the beginning of a new and different life
I remember the OB telling me the cysts would go away and we had nothing to worry about
I remember the insurance company sending me a letter, telling me we needed to change OBs
I remember the new OB telling me he was concerned and wanted me to see a "high risk" doctor
I remember the cold touch of the "high risk" doctor who told us our baby was "bad luck"
I remember seeing Mario clench his teeth to avoid saying or doing something he would regret
I remember surviving the MRI--45 minutes in the tube when I was 8 months pregnant
I remember Mario accidentally turning off the MRI machine with only 5 minutes to go
I remember wanting to hurt Mario
I remember saying some day we would laugh about it (we do)
I remember the doctor revealing that they had found a part of her brain had never developed
I remember rubbing my fingers together nervously, making sure I was awake, and hoping I was not
I remember wondering how she could survive
I remember the moment I saw her. A rush of indescribable love and sharp pain, knowing what was ahead
I remember the midnight call from the Neurosurgeon saying he was concerned about her scans and wanted to schedule neurosurgery right away
I remember watching Charles Stanley on the TV, and thanking God for speaking to us through him
I remember holding Mario's hand in silence, neither one of us able to speak
I remember sending Reese off to surgery and trembling uncontrollably
I remember the doctor coming out to tell us surgery went perfectly
And that was only the first 4 days...