Tuesday, May 17, 2011

I remember

My friend Rudri suggested I try this exercise of "I remembers" in 10 min. Here goes...

I remember the cold, dark ultrasound room
I remember the silence as the tech examined the screen
I remember the phone call from the tech to the radiologist
I remember the knot in my stomach, knowing this was not normal procedure
I remember the ultrasound tech telling me there were two cysts on my 14 week old fetus' brain
I remember biting my lip, begging the tears to stay in my eyes until I reached the car
I remember letting it all out in the privacy of my front seat
I remember calling Mario to tell him something was wrong
I remember the smell of my leather seats, looking in my rear view mirror through tears, backing out, and knowing this day was the beginning of a new and different life
I remember the OB telling me the cysts would go away and we had nothing to worry about
I remember the insurance company sending me a letter, telling me we needed to change OBs
I remember the new OB telling me he was concerned and wanted me to see a "high risk" doctor
I remember the cold touch of the "high risk" doctor who told us our baby was "bad luck"
I remember seeing Mario clench his teeth to avoid saying or doing something he would regret
I remember surviving the MRI--45 minutes in the tube when I was 8 months pregnant
I remember Mario accidentally turning off the MRI machine with only 5 minutes to go
I remember wanting to hurt Mario
I remember saying some day we would laugh about it (we do)
I remember the doctor revealing that they had found a part of her brain had never developed
I remember rubbing my fingers together nervously, making sure I was awake, and hoping I was not
I remember wondering how she could survive
I remember the moment I saw her. A rush of indescribable love and sharp pain, knowing what was ahead
I remember the midnight call from the Neurosurgeon saying he was concerned about her scans and wanted to schedule neurosurgery right away
I remember watching Charles Stanley on the TV, and thanking God for speaking to us through him
I remember holding Mario's hand in silence, neither one of us able to speak
I remember sending Reese off to surgery and trembling uncontrollably
I remember the doctor coming out to tell us surgery went perfectly
And that was only the first 4 days...

1 comment:

  1. That was amazing.. thank you for sharing that.. I now Mario knows that my son Michael has Epilepsy, but he did not develope it until he was 9yrs old.. and we never went through, what you have gone through with Reese.. You both are amazing.. God is amazing.. thanks again for sharing this!!



Thanks for taking the time!