Tuesday, July 22, 2008

a milestone

I just realized I have reached a milestone--one I had been waiting for--but I'm not even sure when I reached it. It may have been a few days ago, and maybe a week. But I realized it this morning. I had been looking forward to a day when I did not cry for Reese. I'd get close some days and then I read an email or talk to a doctor and I'd break down. But I think I have gone a few days without crying. That means I had cried every day for 9 months! No wonder I have more wrinkles and gray hairs.:)
I'm not sure of the significance of this milestone but I do know it is something I've been waiting for. I think it is partly because everything gets easier with time. At one point I never thought I would ever smile again! I said that out loud at one time.... Don't worry, I do smile and laugh quite a bit.:) I think the other part is that I have finally fully surrendered Reese to God. She belongs to Him and my responsibility is to love and care for her here on earth. I cannot make her better--no matter how much I research, change doctors, read, cry.... But I finally feel like I have let go of all of our children. I was holding on so tight. The thought of anything hurting them was unbearable. But I now feel a freedom in releasing them to God and trusting Him with their health, safety, futures. I can let out a big sigh relief...


  1. Way to go, Kerry! That is a HUGE blessing! Thank you for always so sincerely sharing how God is working in your life! We LOVE you!

  2. Kerry, that was so beautiful! I love how you love your girls. It is so evident in all you say and do. You have a quiet strength about you that I envy.
    Kim Thompson

  3. What a gigantic step! You have reached a place every mom, every parent needs to reach but it is so hard to get there. My greatest admiration to a loving, TRUSTING, honorable mom!



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