Reese will be 11 months on Thursday. It is hard to believe--this has definitely been the fastest year of my life but I can't imagine life without Reese. In some ways it has flown by, but in other ways it feels like I have always known Reese. She has definitely changed me and everything in our lives. I feel like I have been floating in depression this week, and I think it is because her birthday is right around the corner. She is almost a year old and that seems to hold so much significance. With our other girls, we were working on first steps, first words, new foods, and staying alive in a house full of things to explore. With Reese, we are still working on head control. In order to sit up, roll over, crawl, walk, you must first be able to hold up your head. Wow...we have missed a lot of milestones. As a newborn it wasn't so obvious--her delays. But now I feel like things are changing. People ask how old she is and then do a double take. They ask questions--some that I feel are really none of their business.:) I think it has hit me--we are going to have some really difficult days. The reality has set in. Reese is delayed and is still seizing. It is no fun and can really get me down some days. I really hate to see her suffering. I hate the seizures. I hate the meds. Sorry to use the word "hate" ( I don't let our kids use it) but it's the only word that truly describes the way I feel.
We got "large ketones" according to the testing strips, which means we are getting close to our goal with the diet. We will get some labs done next week to determine the true ketone count in Reese's blood. So I am happy to see that we are headed in the right direction with the diet. But the seizures have not improved at all. Ugh...that has bummed me out too because if this doesn't work I don't know what we will do next. I really had high hopes--definitely not giving up yet though!